“The Arab League is no longer Hebrew,” declares Assad in exclusive interview

The following is the text of President Bashar al-Assad’s first interview after Syria rejoined the Arab League. It has been edited for brevity.

AlHudood: Thank you Your Excellency Commander in Chief and Brigadier General, General Secretary of International Socialism, Mr President, for accepting our invitation to an interview, and welcome back to AlHudood.

Bashar: You are welcome, it is my pleasure to speak on a platform that does not fear the truth.

AlHudood: To begin with, we want to congratulate you and Syria on your return to the Arab League after a 12-year absence.

Bashar: Thank you, but allow me to correct your statement, and say the return of the Arab League to Syria, because we remain steadfast and have not moved an inch.

AlHudood: In your opinion, what drove the Arab League to change its stance towards Syria and reinstate it?

Bashar: Syria did not lose its membership for it to be reinstated, it was merely suspended, much like the suspension of resolving the Syrian crisis. This latest move is a result of the failure and inexperience of those who called themselves the opposition, which followed the instructions of their backers, whether Arab, Ottoman, European or American, not realizing that in Syria we only follow the instructions of funders from Russia and Iran.

AlHudood: You stated before that the Arab League is like a doctor who smokes who urges you to quit smoking in the middle of inhaling a cigarette. What is your opinion of the organisation now after the latest developments?

Bashar: These are not “latest developments,” because contact continued on all sides. They are simply the “latest announcements.” To answer your question, that doctor’s addiction has intensified, and the cigarette no longer has the desired effect, so we have to extend a helping hand to him and provide him with captagon tablets instead that will make him forget cigarettes and UN Security Council resolutions.

AlHudood: What does the reinstatement… sorry, the cancellation of the freeze of Syria’s membership mean for the economic situation inside the country?

Bashar: We said it back in 2012, that Syria has been working hard to limit the losses resulting from its failed relationships with neighboring Arab countries. And Syria succeeded in 2023 to the point where it no longer has anything to lose, whether in terms of political positions, sovereignty or natural resources, so there is no longer anything to gain from the severing of relations, and no fear of conspiracies meant to destabilize us internally, since dividing 0 by anything is still 0.

AlHudood: What about Israel? How do you see the Israeli position today?

Bashar: Talking about a position implies that Israel exists as a state, and Israel is an entity, not a state, so it cannot take positions or stands. However, this entity had arms that entered the Arab League and turned it Hebrew in 2012, using its poor immune response amid the absence of the beating heart of Arabism, Syria. But the ultimate destiny of the Arabs is to act as a unified body – when one part is wounded, the others condemn and decry.

AlHudood: Thank you Mr President, and we wish you good luck in rebalancing regional and global politics as soon as the electricity comes back.