Secular Caliph Recep Tayyip Erdogan and Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman have signed a joint cooperation agreement meant to counter common threats facing the two regional powers, which includes a plan to combat pesky journalists.
The deal was signed after the two leaders agreed not only to turn the page on their past disagreements, but to also dissolve it in acid, and followed a string of embraces and kisses in front of the cameras to reiterate the genuineness of the reunion.
Erdogan said the journalists that have plagued Saudi Arabia and Turkey will be the bridge to common ground and affinity between the two nations, due to the effort needed to eliminate the problem at the roots.
“Everybody knows the exhaustion and anxiety caused by those imbeciles, so we have elected to protect our mental health, my brother Mohammed and I, by exchanging views and expertise on legal and extra-legal methods for detaining and disappearing journalists, in addition to forming an elite assassination team that can deal with them without any headaches,” he said.
The Turkish president said he was excited to hear about the story of eliminating dissident journalist Jamal Khashoggi directly from the crown prince.
“I was mistaken to say what happened was a cowardly and idiotic act that will limit our ability to neuter journalists,” he said. “I only needed some time to come to terms with this new school of doing things and the youthful vigor that it shows.”
MBS said he was thrilled by the prospect of an alliance.
“My brother Recep is a skilled eliminator of journalists, and me and my team as well as my embassies and consulates will all be ready to assist, so we can strike at journalists with a fist of steel and another fist wielding a bone saw,” he said.