Ministry of Defence develops anti-hope missile technology

The Ministry of Defence said it had locally developed a new missile defence system capable of tracking and destroying hope entirely, in an effort to protect citizens from dangerous consequences that manifest in a pointless insistence on changing the prosperous life guaranteed by the nation’s leadership.

A statement by the ministry said a team of local scientists and experts worked to identify the primary threat facing the populace that destabilizes the country and instills strife. 

A series of experiments concluded that the threat was not external in the form of military interventions or internal in the form of corrupt officials, but rather was the hope that attacks the minds of citizens and spurs them to challenge the status quo and the reality lovingly built by the Dear Leader over the course of half a century.

The ministry pledged to continue its arms race against hope and work to export the technology to allies and neighboring countries. It said local scientists were also working on developing other missile defence systems that can target dreams, ambitions and even expectations, with the aim of ultimately developing anti-future technology.