EU rebuilds dismantled internal walls around the continent

Europe® remains a beacon to people yearning for freedom, democracy and enlightenment, an icon of looting and colonialism, where culture, sophistication, opportunism and chique criminality come together in what is now a global example in perpetuating atrocities while maintaining an impeccable image. 

This impeccably polished image led to the raging desire within barbaric Third World communities to emigrate to the continent, dazzled by its civilisation and prosperity, despite anal-hygiene in the form of bidets not reaching its great shores yet. 

However, the dismantling of European borders and establishment of the no-visa utopia in Europe created an unforeseen problem - the possibility that people from the Third World could benefit from rules set with indegenous white Europeans in mind; as if random mobs could use this progress, paved on their ancestors' dead bodies, to their benefit. Some even go as far as to travel to European borders and embarrass EU leaders by dying in the freezing cold at their doorstep.

An EU spokesman said that the construction of borders around the continent is designed to safeguard the accomplishments of European civilization.

“You cannot fry an omelette without breaking an egg, or freezing a couple of refugees,” he said. “Freedom is precious and fragile and can be lost in an instant, especially as crowds hurle towards it and soil it with their bare and dirty refugee feet.”

The collapse of walls inside Europe was celebrated all over the world, from the Berlin wall to state borders. This is a dream that was once revered all over the Middle East. Imagine if you could have a falafel breakfast in Amman, followed by a manakeesh brunch in Beirut, then get arrested in Aleppo at noon, then die in an explosion in Baghdad later that evening.