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Study confirms being a lazy useless idiotic failure is a sign of your brilliance

Medhat Al-Shandweeely, AlHudood’s Cheerleader

Study confirms being a lazy useless idiotic failure is a sign of your brilliance image

A new study by AlHudood Centre for Studies Used when Proving to your Friends that you are not an Idiot as Apparent ® (ACSUPFIA) found that lying on the couch while scrolling down on your phone all day long, alongside being lazy, useless, and a total failure are all obvious signs of your genius and talent.

The study confirms that your laziness is merely an indicator of your innate awareness of the ecological crises plaguing the planet. i.e.: you rarely take showers to save water, you do not work to save the trees, you do not use transportation to save the bees, and never leave your couch to avoid exhausting your muscles hence extending their shelf-life and sustainability.

The study suggests that you are a one-of-a-kind gift to the world, but you unconsciously prefer to keep your extraordinary superpowers to yourself so as not to make others feel inferior, jealous, triggered, or hurt.

Moreover, the study adds that, contrary to common belief, you are not dull or boring; that superhuman mind of yours allows you to enjoy yourself without having to do a single damn thing. This means that you should not feel ashamed when someone sees you staring at the ceiling while drooling because you are simply wandering in your wild imagination, creating marvelous worlds far far far away from this basic world.

About that one time when you put your hand on the flaming stovetop to see if it was going to melt, er, actually that… demonstrates your curiosity and your natural drive to learn and explore your surroundings creatively. Yes, that is it. It must be that.

Keep in mind that Newton would never have come up with his law of gravity was it not for his nap under an apple tree.