Algeria demands international community move Morocco away from its border

The Algerian government has asked the international community to intervene in its latest spat with Morocco, urging the Security Council to act and move its wayward neighbor to another location far away from its borders after concluding that several decades of loud arguments and humiliation on the international stage were enough.

A foreign ministry spokesman said the latest tensions, sparked by accusations that Morocco sponsors a terrorist group that started recently, out-of-control forest fires, showed that co-existence is a deadend.

“Morocco has been living next to us for a long time, and they have never been respectful neighbors,” the spokesman said. “They tried to take over our lands, and have sent their sons to our border regions to flex their muscles and urinate on our territory, in addition to sponsoring terrorist and separatist groups, which we are sure lit our forests on fire.”

The spokesman said Morocco was responsible for many calamities that have befallen Algeria since independence.

“Any entity, whether a person, corporation or state, is a natural extension of the environment that surrounds it and its closest friends and neighbors,” he said. “We have been impacted negatively by Morocco and its corruption and tyranny. Without Morocco we would not have had corrupt institutions, or a civil war, or been delayed in controlling the forest fires.”

“Moreover, they don’t speak French as well as we do but they still immigrate and compete for the jobs of our immigrants, and damage our reputation abroad since they are also Arabs,” he added.

In a statement, the foreign ministry proposed a series of solutions including replacing Moroccans with citizens of another country, digging a canal like the one in Suez that would make Morocco an Atlantic island, or bringing in a foreign power to administer the nation.