Saddam Hussein, the Shield of the Peninsula and pride of the Arabs, hero of the chemical battle and legend of the military stalemate with Iran, leader of the Baath Party in this world and the hereafter in spite of George Bush and Hafez al-Assad, and the man of the hour, announced the launch of a new war against the neighboring province of Kuwait after two conflict-less years of boredom in the ranks of the military and international news agencies.
In a speech, Abu Udayy said that the recent, prolonged period of peace in the region after the end of the war with Iran, and the scarcity of war crimes in recent months, goes against his pledge when he ascended to power in Iraq.
“We refuse to sit on our hands on the sidelines, for it is not among the qualities of men to rest without bombing or starving people or attacking them with chemical weapons in favor of things like development and diplomacy and progress,” he said. “This laziness encourages our enemies, which means we need to launch wars on a seasonal basis in preparation for the mother of all battles.”
Saddam said the choice of Kuwait as the scene of his latest war was deliberate.
“We will attack them with all our strength so the Israeli enemy sees we have no mercy towards our neighbors and friends,” he said. “Then they will fear what we shall do to them, our enemy for decades, when we liberate Jerusalem.”
He urged the half-men leading the rest of the Arab world to follow his example and that of his army.
“Wars and heroics create real men,” he said. “When children lose their fathers at a young age they are forced to shoulder responsibility early, which will lead to the creation of a new generation that represents our nations and Islam in all fields of battle and international venues.”