Iraq and Lebanon sign deal to exchange citizens’ woes

Top Iraqi and Lebanese officials inked a deal Tuesday to trade in their citizens’ suffering and share their misery across borders, a decision borne out of the belief that misery loves company.

The agreement, signed by the Lebanese energy minister and the Iraqi finance minister under candlelight after a long session in which they discussed the poverty and desperation of their respective populations, hopes to address key challenges by sending them abroad.

Under the terms of the deal, Baghdad will export some of the oil it cannot use to generate electricity to Beirut. In turn, Lebanon will send various subject matter experts and medical cadres that it has failed to use to Iraq.

Iraqi Prime Minister Mustafa al-Kadhimi said the two countries refuse to simply accept their bad luck.

“We will export heavy fuel to Lebanon, and, while it is true they cannot directly use it in their power plants, we hope they will be able to exchange it for better fuel elsewhere, and hopefully these third parties will be acceptable to Iran in order for this plan to succeed,” he said.

Kadhimi said he hoped the medical experts imported from Lebanon will reduce the number of old medical facilities catching on fire and killing all patients.