Local man Farid Bal’am succeeded in devouring an additional five pieces of his fourth shawarma sandwich seconds before his digestive system sent urgent satiety signals to his brain, dealing a crushing morale blow to his guts and his chances of survival past 40 years of age.
Bal’am’s actions added another victory in his endless battles against his digestive system, which has repeatedly embarrassed him by achieving total satiety during feasts with friends and family, regardless of the amount of stuffed bell peppers, broasted chicken, meat slices and Pringles chips still on the table.
Bal’am said he decided on the spot to eat the additional shawarma bites during his fourth sandwich and second soft drink bottle.
“I started experiencing those depressing symptoms that indicate fullness, like shortness of breath, restriction of the arteries, and expansion of the belly,” he said in an interview. “So I quickly swallowed several additional pieces before the situation got out of control and I lost the rest of the money I spent at the restaurant.”
“My masculinity would not have allowed me to take the rest of the food home,” he added.
Before vomiting in the restaurant bathroom, Bal’am said he was disappointed that his digestive system was unable to keep up with his appetite, failing to evolve and instantaneously digest food bites despite ample training.