Khamenei to Iranians: Just look at these lovely presidential candidates I hand-picked for you

Iran’s Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei called on citizens to prepare for a “festival of democracy” on June 18, when presidential elections will be held, declaring that he personally curated the candidates who are tailored to the exact needs of the population to improve the electorate’s chances of electing a suitable leader.

In a speech, Khamenei said the presidential candidates approved by the Guardian Council were ideal for leading the country because he chose them himself.

“They are all like my sons and I love them all, and I chose for you the best geriatrics of the revolution so you can pick among them,” he said. “Though one, Ebrahim Raisi, is nearer to my heart much like Joseph was dearer to Jacob than his brothers.”

Khamenei said Raisi, Iran’s chief justice who presided over numerous executions of dissidents and activists, also had under his belt sanctions by  the US and Europe.

“We tried a reformist presidency and it was beneficial from a PR perspective, but it’s now time to go back to our roots, and we have rejected the candidacy of these weaklings,” he said. “Raisi is the most suitable, because he is always willing to bloody his own hands to protect the revolution from all of you traitors so the rest of us don’t have to.”

Khamenei said the selection of a limited number of candidates by the country’s top clerics and putting them to a popular vote showed that the Iranian system was the ideal form of democracy.

“We took the idea of voting and elections from the West, and fused it with the experiences of Arab and Latin American regimes, particularly the latest extremely successful experiments like the Syrian presidential elections last month,” said Khamenei. “What we emerged with is a universal form of democracy with no match in this world.”