Israel bombs crossing connecting Gaza and Heaven

The Israeli military on Friday bombed a thoroughfare connecting Gaza and the upper reaches of Heaven, after 200 residents of the besieged strip crossed over following the latest round of airstrikes without obtaining security clearances.

The bombing destroyed the last tunnel used to funnel the spirits of Gaza’s dead, trapping them within range of Israeli artillery and missiles.

Security sources said the bombing would enhance Israel’s ability to defend itself, charging that Palestinians had long used the crossing to ferry anti-Zionist conspirators from the spiritual plane to the strip.

The sources said Israel was ready to bomb all the various spheres of Heaven unless all future crossings and souls passing through them are subjected to enhanced screening measures.

UN humanitarian workers distributed blankets and food baskets to the souls of those who recently died in the Israeli bombing, in a measure the organisation said shows its continued commitment to supporting victims of the conflict.

Sources in Heaven told AlHudood that a new round of negotiations led by Azrael have begun with Israel to open a new crossing during the current ceasefire.