Woman Forced to Cut Her Token Brown Friend Over “So-Called Palestine”

A London woman was forced last week to cut her relations with her only friend of colour after her friend seemed to not be able to stop obsessing over killing children as if children haven’t been dying in wars for centuries without making such a fuss.

Judy Cordell met her Venezuelan friend Maria when they were both studying at Durham University in the 2000s, and have been in constant contact ever since, with Judy going as far as making Maria one of the 4 godmothers of one of her children. Friends say Maria “mixed in just like a white person,” never once being called a slur.

But since the horrors of October 7th, the only horror to have happened on earth other than September 11th,  Maria has not been able to understand that actions have consequences, and that bombing civilians is simply how democracies process grief. 

Despite Judy’s generous offers to “agree to disagree” about the ethics of mass killing, Maria insisted on taking it personally and dragging racism into it. When pressed about core issues, like the hostages or the Eurovision singer who got booed having never sniped a child*, Maria was reportedly “mute”.

Judy said she knew things had gone too far when Maria started believing she could “change governments just by holding a placard” — behaviour Judy described as “textbook megalomania.”

*A figure of speech — though technically she might have, as she served in the IDF.