U.S. State Department Deploys Horse Whisperer, Dog Trainer to Train Arabs at Press Conferences

WASHINGTON—In a bold new effort to civilise the Arab press corps, the U.S. State Department has assigned the United States ambassador to Türkiye and the special envoy for Syria Tom Barrack a personal cowboy, a dog trainer, and a horse groom to help him run press conferences without incident.

Officials say the team will ensure that Arab journalists are properly vaccinated before entry, remain polite and tolerant throughout, and sit promptly at the first command of “Sit.”

The decision followed Barrack’s comments that press conferences had become “chaotic, like animalistic,” adding admonitions to journalists they ought to “act civilised, act kind, act tolerant, because this is the problem with what is happening in the region.”

According to internal memos, responsibilities are clearly divided: the horse groom will feed journalists from the buffet and strap them back into their chairs before the conference begins, while the cowboy will pursue reporters who attempt to flee official answers, hauling them back with his lasso.

Barrack expressed confidence in the new arrangement, noting that with the right training regime “even Arabs can learn basic civility.”