Breaking: Al-Hudood Reveals Evidence of Iranian Influence to be Concentrated in Iran

For decades, efforts to counter Iran’s regional influence have shaped military and political strategies across the Middle East. Intelligence assessments have repeatedly suggested the brunt of Iran’s prowess to be somewhere across a vast geographical expanse, between the Caspian and Red Seas. 

In pursuit of this goal, the United States and Israel have waged wars and conducted airstrikes across Lebanon, Syria, and Gaza, destroying them in whole or in part. The net result is paradoxical: Instead of diminishing, Iranian influence in the region has persisted grown while the toll on civilian populations has mounted, with thousands killed, wounded, or displaced.

However, Al-Hudood can now exclusively reveal that Iran’s power is concentrated elsewhere. Using its Survey and Analysis Satellite System (SASS)—a black box of assembled cutting-edge technology, like Google Maps—has pinpointed Iran’s exact location: east of Iraq, west of Afghanistan, in the area labelled “Iran”. 

This discovery has led some analysts to question the assumptions driving years of military strategy. Contrary to narratives depicting Iran as an insurmountable regional force, recent geopolitical assessments suggest that its capabilities may not be as formidable as once feared. Some reports even describe Tehran’s position as fragile, arguing that its military threats lack the capacity to project significant force.

Al-Hudood SASS spokesperson Tareq Qadura said, “We hope this discovery helps cull the indiscriminate killing. Feel free to contact us for the coordinates—for the love of God, leave us alone, you and Iran alike.”