Trump Annexes Gaza to Texas to Deport Palestinians to Mexico

US President Donald Trump has announced his intention to annex Gaza to the United States and deport the Palestinians living there to Mexico.

The decision came in the wake of Jordan and Egypt’s refusal to give the Palestinians the United States plans to ethnically cleanse out of Gaza entry.

The decision follows Mr Trump’s consultations with himself. “One shithole nation is the same as another,” he said. “Brown people should be happy to be together. They’ll manage to translate between Arabic and Mexican, I’m sure, especially with the power of good ol’ American AI.”

The decision to annex followed Trump’s realisation that Gaza did not share a border with the Gulf of Mexico, as would allow Gazans to be counted as “illegal Mexicans.”

“It’s a win-win for everybody. It’s a great deal. The best deal,” said Mr Trump. “Israel gets to get rid of the Palestinians, and the Palestinians get to live for 24-hours in a civilised country instead of another shithole nation. They’ll have a beach and sand. They’ll get a nice big Happy Meal when they’re in Texas. It’s happy. What could be better? McDonald’s! Do they have McDonald’s? It’s great. Hamburgers! Remember the clown McDonald’s had? What happened to it? Why do people not like clowns? We need more clowns. They say clowns scare kids. Imagine. I haven’t seen a clown in a McDonald’s in years. What do they know? Good ol’ Ronald. Great clown. Good name. Great president. Ronald Reagan. Great president. Nice man. A gentleman. They don’t make ‘em like that anymore, folks.”

Trump later declared that Mexican President Abdelfatah El-Sisi had agreed to the deal.