Sisi Invites U.S. Authorities to Inspect Senator Menendez's Right Pocket and Return his Fifty Dollars

After the stir caused by the new secret agent, Senator Bob Menendez, in the corridors of the U.S. Congress, for possessing teeny tiny incentives including envelopes stuffed with dollars, apartments, cars, and gold bars from Amero-Egyptian businessmen to facilitate their work in Egypt, allegations of bribery reached the chin of the venerable President Abdel Fattah El-Sisi.

Our correspondent, Barney Flintstone, was in the living room of his cousin's son, American intelligence officer investigator Jeremy Holz, when he heard his speakerphone call with Abdel Fattah, asking him about the details of bribing the senator, a matter which the president categorically denied, saying: "What bribery? No one has ever bribed anyone in the history of modern Sisi's Egypt, especially none related to the military contracts."

Unbeknownst why to Flintstone, Abdel Fattah repeatedly said that even the Prophet accepted gifts and that Egypt is an independent country that does not follow Western traditions, where prophets do not accept gifts.

Regarding entrusting a Christian to manage the company that Menendez gave a monopoly to export "halal" meat to Egypt, and the possibility that this step might raise suspicions and expose the whole operation, Abdel Fattah clarified that it is the biggest proof that his country does not suffer from Christophobia, does not see gender, race, or color, unless it's green and adorned with Benjamin Franklin’s  mysterious smile. 

Abdel Fattah did not neglect to mention the rest of the bribery details, "Sisi was heard saying, 'I gave him fifty dollars, if you consider it a bribe, and he knows it's a bribe and didn’t refuse, it's not my fault. If I knew, I couldn’t accept this disgraceful behavior, and I demand to search his dark grey suit pants, in the right pocket, and return it immediately. If you can’t find it, you must search the secret pocket in his striped Cottonil brand boxer shorts.'"