Israel guarantees the right of return to anyone, dead or alive, except for Palestinians

Israel -the earthly paradise, the beacon of democracy in the Middle East- confirms that the right of return is reserved to anyone and everyone, young or old, woman or man , living or dead, as long as they are not Palestinian.

According to Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu -also known as dove of peace, or the chosen one by the chosen people- the government  will guarantee every body the right to return, “they could be coming from Poland, Russia, Germany, even if from the Arab world, Israel will welcome them with arms wide open, irrespective of their eye color, weight, height, or their favorite sports team, so long as they are Jewish.”

Netanyahu explained that the right to return also includes Jews who have passed away, “they have every right to be buried under the warm soil of Israel, and we shall spare no expense to provide them with graves in place of the buried Palestinians.” 

He added that the right to return will celebrate historical diversity, “The British can return anytime to visit the land they had worked to prepar for us. Even the Romans, we will forgive them for once oppressing Jews and welcome them to come and cry over their lost Empire. As for Palestinians, what ‘return’ are they talking about? When were they here at all to return?”

On the other hand, Israeli moderate parties asked for  the circumstances of Palestinians to be taken into consideration. “They live next to us anyway. Let’s be gentle with them; we should let them in through the separation wall, and they can settle right next to it until we demolish it over their heads and occupy the whole land.”